Coping with Chronic Illness when Getting Married

I recently got married and it was the perfect day! Not to say it wasn’t a struggle dealing with my chronic health conditions in the lead up and even after the wedding day. It can be difficult to cope even when there are no stresses, let alone when planning a wedding.

Firstly, I never realised how stressful it would be. There are so many costs involved, I was constantly checking over finances and updating spreadsheets so I could keep track of everything. Then there was choosing all the suppliers, and there are thousands out there, all vying for your attention. It was overwhelming, and with only a year between engagement and wedding, there wasn’t much time to relax.

Despite the stresses, I made sure to take time for myself. It was equally stressful and exciting, so often the adrenaline would keep me going, but I knew I would crash as a result. I tried to pace things out, focusing on one task at a time, and made a to-do list in order of priority so I could achieve one thing at a time.

It also helped to keep my fiance in the loop, making decisions together, and he took charge of some of the tasks such as communicating with the photographer. Throughout we made sure the day was about us, and we actually had a lot of fun planning the designs of the tables, as we went for a theme of all our favourite films. Searching for second hand items that would make the themes come to life was really exciting, and brought us together even more.

Finding these enjoyable activities through the chaos helped to keep me calm and relaxed, being able to see the bigger picture. We made sure to go on some non-wedding related dates, to stay close and not let the stresses get to our relationship. Also, remembering that all the suppliers are professionals and deal with weddings on a daily basis, so they were very self sufficient and only contacted me when they needed something, which even closer to the wedding, was far and few between.

Altogether, everything came together really well, and I had a huge support network of friends and family there to help whenever we asked for it, but also not being overbearing so they gave us space to enjoy our engagement.

The day before, I did my best to relax but the nerves were starting to kick in. I knew I wouldn’t sleep well, but tried some methods of relaxation such as deep breathing exercises and watched an old film with mum to distract me. When it came to the morning, I was extremely nervous, but as soon as I arrived at the venue, I instantly calmed, seeing the suppliers already setting up, and all my favourite people (except my fiance) there to support me and help me through the morning.

The wedding went by in a flash, but it was everything I had ever dreamed of and more! I thought I would need loads of breaks but the adrenaline kept me going, and I managed to get through to midnight. It was important to take some time away with my new husband, just a few minutes at a time to sit with him and comprehend what had just happened. These were my favourite moments of the day, and did allow me to rest a little.

The next few days I was flaring, but it was so worth it! We just relaxed at home, ate loads having dieted for months, and spent some quality time playing games and just taking everything in, opening cards and gifts and sharing our memories of the day.

We planned the honeymoon for five days after the wedding, and that was the perfect amount of time to recover and then be better for the long flight to Jamaica. I even went out of my comfort zone whilst there and did some adrenaline-filled activities, knowing I could rest and relax again when we got back to the hotel. Mostly we just sunbathed and ate and drank! It was glorious and I found the hot weather and being away from work really helped my health conditions.