Before I became ill I was quite intelligent and independent
I could complete tasks by myself easily and on time
I would remember everything and took pride in my work
I never had to ask someone to repeat anything, I just got on with it
…
However now everyday I feel utterly stupid
I have to ask multiple times as I forget what I’m doing or how to do it
Some days I’m in a daze and feel useless to the world
Conversations go straight over my head and I’m just not there
…
Lack of sleep makes things even worse
But even with sleep I’m a walking zombie, almost brainless
I feel like others judge me thinking I’m slow when really I’m ill
I’m trying my best to keep up but I have to go at my own pace
…
When the pain is at its worst my brain switches off completely
I stare at nothing and the day goes by without even noticing
On these days my thoughts are so jumbled I can’t even form a sentence
You don’t see those days, I hide them from even myself
…
The most awful thing about it is that there isn’t much that helps
I write everything down as when I’m stuck I can look back at it
But remembering to write it down is sometimes a feat in itself
We do what we can to help us maintain some kind of normalcy
Hello Fibro Blog 
I rely on lists and to-do lists for my floundering memory, and avoid emails and conversations when my brain simply can’t function to form coherent thoughts and sentences. You’ve captured this so well.
Caz xx
LikeLike