Chronic Loneliness

I can only do so much a day

Then I know I must rest

I used to be a social butterfly

But now that’s all gone

I don’t have enough energy

Not to both work and socialise

I have to plan my time

Try to organise my life

Will I be well enough?

Will the pain stay at bay?

Will I have the energy?

Will I be of use to anyone at all?

Ifs and buts now control my life

I can’t make plans in advance

And I’m always letting people down

Making excuses instead of honesty

I’m busy, something’s come up

I rarely say I’m sorry I’m ill

Or I just have to rest today

Instead I lie through my teeth

Crying in my bed alone

Hating the person I have become

This lonely, isolated zombie

Who just wants a life