It is so hard to admit to myself and to others that I’m struggling, for a multitude of reasons
I am battling my own guilt and doubt every second of every day
The guilt that I cannot do things I used to be able to do
The guilt that I have to rely on others to help with simple things
Nobody truly understands unless they themselves have a chronic illness
Others see me when I am able to do more
They see me acting normal and think I’m cured
But the sad fact of it is that I never know how I’m going to feel from minute to minute.
I don’t want to admit I’m struggling, I want to be better, I want to be able to do everything
I don’t want to be confined or held back, but I have to rest
I am still getting used to it and I know I need to be more honest with others when I’m struggling but I just hate it.
I know over time it will get easier but it’s going to be a long journey so please be patient with me